If you’ve survived domestic violence or emotional abuse, you might be carrying a heavy burden that was never yours to carry: guilt.

Guilt for staying. Guilt for going back. Guilt about your children. Guilt for not speaking out sooner.

But here’s the truth: You are not to blame for the abuse you experienced. Abuse is always a choice made by the abuser. It is never caused by anything you did—or didn’t do.


Why Do Abuse Survivors Feel Guilty?

As a trauma therapist in the UK, I work with many survivors who struggle with guilt. This is incredibly common. Often, it’s the result of emotional manipulation during the abusive relationship.

Abusers may use tactics like:

• Gaslighting
• Blame-shifting
• Emotional blackmail
• You may have heard things like:
• “You made me do this.”
• “If you just listened, I wouldn’t get angry.”
• “You’re too sensitive.”

These are lies. Abuse is never justified. But when these messages are repeated over time—especially by someone you once loved or trusted—it’s easy to internalize the blame.

How Guilt Affects Healing

• Guilt can be paralyzing. It can stop you from:
• Seeking support
• Building healthy relationships
• Trusting yourself again

Some survivors even feel survivor’s guilt—for escaping when others didn’t, or for finding joy again. But guilt doesn’t serve your healing. It keeps you locked in shame and fear. You deserve better.

Healing From Abuse: A UK Therapist's Perspective

Letting go of guilt isn’t about ignoring what happened. It’s about rewriting your inner narrative with truth and compassion.

Here’s what’s true:

• You did what you needed to survive.
• You made the best choices with the support and resources you had.
• You are not responsible for someone else’s violence.
• You deserve peace, healing, and freedom.

Working with a specialist trauma therapist in the UK can help you explore these truths. Therapy offers a safe space to process the past, validate your experiences, and rebuild your confidence.

Freedom Takes Time—and That’s Okay
You may have left the abusive relationship, but emotional recovery is its own journey. Healing is not linear. But releasing guilt is a powerful step toward reclaiming your life.

If you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen.


Contact a UK Trauma Therapist - 
Website: www.counsellingwithoriana.co.uk 
Email: [email protected]

Hello and welcome to my corner of the Internet!

I wanted to introduce myself and what I offer in relation to counselling and psychotherapy.

Hi, I'm Oriana, a qualified counsellor/therapist. I believe that therapy should be as unique as you are, which is why I take an integrative approach, combining different methods and techniques tailored to meet your individual needs.
As a person-centred counsellor, my focus is on providing a safe, non-judgmental space for you to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Through active listening, empathy, and genuine understanding, I help you make sense of your emotions and empower you to move towards personal growth and healing.

I am deeply passionate about helping individuals who have been impacted by abuse, including domestic violence, sexual abuse, coercion, and control. The aftermath of abuse can affect many areas of your life, from self-esteem and confidence to your motivation and ability to rebuild your future. If you’re dealing with flashbacks or feeling uncertain about how to move forward after abuse, I am here to guide and support you. In addition to my private practice, I work for a domestic violence service, further enhancing my expertise in this area.

Beyond trauma and abuse-related issues, I also support clients dealing with anxiety, depression, stress, grief, and other emotional challenges. Whether you're navigating difficult relationships or simply struggling to cope with daily life, I offer compassionate and tailored support to help you heal and move forward.

I understand that taking the first step toward therapy can feel overwhelming, especially if it’s your first time seeking support. I am committed to working at your pace, offering a space where you can ask questions and feel comfortable as we work together.

I also offer reduced fee for those on low income and counselling students, as I recognise the importance of accessible support. I am a Manchester based therapist, but work all over UK as work online or telephone.

If you’re ready to start your healing journey, or even if you just want to chat first, feel free to reach out. I’m here to help.

When not doing therapy: I love cooking, being with family and listening to podcasts.

Oriana – Experienced therapist. Specializing in Abuse, Trauma, Anxiety, and Relationship Issues